Last Wednesday 12th September 2007 was the start of the Jewish New Year. And, besides being a deeply spiritual, reflective and happy time of year, it is also a very hectic time of year if you already have your hands full running a business, running a home, seeing to kids, dogs, accounts, shopping etc. You get the picture???
I was having 11 people for dinner on Wednesday night and I had been so busy in the preceding weeks that I hardly had time to think about the New Year dinner, let alone plan or prepare!
A day or two before, I had booked a maid from a domestic agency to help me tidy the house and I had booked an early morning appointment with the hairdresser as my red tint had grown out and my hair was now a weird mix of grey, red and brown and looked atrocious. I had also ordered some deli items and some veggies and I had planned to get to the deli before the hairdresser, before the rush on the food began! Believe me, you don’t want to get caught in the rush when a whole bunch of “Yiddishe mamas” are fighting to get to the food counter first .
Wednesday morning arrived. I woke up and thought “Oh shit… must I get out of bed???” But, I eventually dragged my sorry butt downstairs and started to make preparations for the big “COOK OUT” I glanced at my watch and saw it was 8-10 am. The maid was late. I waited another 15 minutes and I called the agency, only to be told that the maid had called in sick and wouldn’t be coming. I contemplated suicide, but decided to be brave, so I woke my 23 year old daughter and told her to go and fetch my mom in law and do some “nipping and tucking” to the downstairs of the house, at least!
She wasn’t happy – I mean what self-respecting Jewish kugel wants to mop floors??? But, tough luck! I told her to make like NIKE and “just do it!!!”.
Then the phone rang. It was the ad agency I work for, on a retainer basis. They had an urgent ad for a new client, which they needed extra urgently! I had about half an hour before I had to leave for the hairdresser! $#@*&^%!!!!
Of course by the time I had done the ad (Thank goodness I am a gifted, talented, FAST and ever so modest, copywriter!!!) and briefed my mom in law (Bless her little cotton socks) on what to do, it was too late to pick up my order from the deli before the hairdresser, so I rushed to the hairdresser, let her put the tint on my hair and went to the deli while I was waiting for the colour to take. At least the site of me in a black cape, and with a red tint on my hair provided the other people in the queue with some entertainment. 40 minutes later, I was still in the queue, and I thought my hair was going to fall out since the tint had already been on for longer than it should have been, but I was NOT giving up my place in the queue! Geez… u would swear that these people were NEVER going to eat again!!! I think people were ready to punch each others lights out to get to the counter before anyone else. Eventually I got my stuff and rushed back to the hairdresser!
I got out of the hairdresser at 11-50 am, and had to fetch my son from school at 12:00 and guess what??? My phone rings… and it’s the mother of one of my son’s friends asking me to please give her son and his friend a lift home! I couldn’t say no since she is always good to my son and her son and mine are really good friends, sooooo I had to schlep them home too!
Eventually, I got home and had to start the cooking! Luckily, I managed to persuade my daughter to pick up some stuff I ordered from the Spar. She likes spending money so it wasn’t that hard to persuade her!
I had to have the table set, the food cooked and laid out, and everything tidied up by 5, since I wanted to go to the Synagogue, and in order to get a reasonable parking and not have to walk miles in 6 inch platforms, u have to be there early!
Needless to say, my R700-00 hair was dripping with perspiration by 5…what with 30 Degree heat, standing over the stove and having more than a few of “those 50 year old moments”! And, to make matters worse, I couldn’t find my phone! Eventually, I remembered that I had left it in the car! ARGGHHH!!! I had missed 6 important calls and had no time to call anybody back!
Then the frantic search began for a skirt and a “Synagogue top”. I NEVER wear a skirt! I am one of those shorts and T-shirt, or jeans and T-shirt, kinda people, so finding a skirt in my cupboard took a while! I have also put on a “bit” of weight since I last went to a Synagogue so finding a skirt and top combo that didn’t make me look like a pregnant elephant wasn’t easy! With clothes strewn all over the room, my hair clamped up and the fan blowing deliciously in my red face, I started putting on some make up while my impatient hubby stood there all dressed and ready, reminding me about the hike I took in my platforms last year!
Lucky for him, I was too tired to kill him, so I just slapped on some make-up, threw on the best of the ellie clothes and the platforms, grabbed my new, outrageously expensive “Guess” handbag and hobbled to the delightfully air-conditioned car!
Anyway, despite everything, it ended up being a nice evening, but I was so wiped out by the end of the evening, I almost cried.
And, then the lunacy started all over again the following day!!! I had to put all the “crystal and silver” away in the morning and then rush to the Synagogue again. In the afternoon, I set the table again and got all the left overs out so we could do the second night’s dinner.
ERRRRR… did I mention that I dropped a bottle of red wine out of one of my kitchen cupboards during the second afternoon? I guess I also didn’t mention that it broke… and I had “the Red Sea” all over my kitchen, including in the dogs lovely new baskets! And, did I mention that I had to wash the doggie baskets, my hubby and son had to mop up the Red Sea and my daughter had to pick 3 glass shards out of her bleeding hands? And, all this about 20 minutes before we had to leave for the Synagogue for the evening service?
It’s probably best left unsaid anyway!
A valium and prozac cocktail sounded like a great idea at this stage!
Don’t sit there giggling! I bet you have had similar days! Tell us about YOUR “One of THOSE day” experiences!